« Stags | Home | Egg on Your Face »
Eggplants (International)
By courtney | July 19, 2010
Last week, we had pasta alla norma for dinner one night. This is a scrumptious dish with tomatoes and eggplant and fresh basil and whatnot. I’m not telling you this just so you can be wierded out that we voluntarily eat eggplant; we’ll return to this pertinent fact later.
Last week, I also downloaded a new application to my phone. This application tells me helpful things about my pregnancy like:
- You have exactly 14 weeks left until your due date. That’s 98 days! Shouldn’t you be creating a registry or something?
- Good news: your uterus should be the size of a basketball by now! Haha, and you wondered why turning over in bed is getting so awkward.
- Has your belly button popped out yet? No? It will soon. I’ll keep reminding you so that you can check in the shower each day.
- The baby recognizes your voice and Keith’s voice, even if he doesn’t know what you’re saying. But he can pick up your tone. Don’t you love that he gets to hear you being Mean Librarian Lady at work?
- Your baby is the size of an eggplant.
(Well, maybe the pregnancy tracker application isn’t quite that… chatty. I may have interpreted the tone of voice rather freely, if you must know. Whatever. The factual parts are true.)
The eggplant thing was a disturbing new development that we’ve been puzzling over. What does that MEAN? When our pasta alla norma recipe says “2 large eggplants,” we have learned by experience that Jamie Oliver really means “2 large eggplants by London standards, which should not be confused with your freakishly large American eggplants.” We must also consider Thai eggplants, which are really quite petite little things. They are delicious. But which one is the baby?
You see, this is the problem with using fruit to specify the baby’s growth. It’s just silly. There is too much produce in the world. It is also confusing for proud parents who recently consumed the odd produce, therefore causing them to feel like guilty cannibals at dinner. Nicknaming the baby after a dinosaur? Perfectly acceptable. Eating the baby’s comparison produce at dinner? Concerning, to say the least.
To alleviate this concern, we are returning to Keith’s system of comparing the baby’s size to an animal. At 2 lbs and 9″ (rump to crown of head), Allosaurus is a robust, Spokane-sized squirrel. Happy squirrel day, baby. We love you.
Topics: Offspring, food | 4 Comments »
July 20th, 2010 at 10:23 am
One day my grandson is a dinosaur. The next an eggplant. (Are those purple? I ask because Courtney was never fed an eggplant in our house…) And now, my grandson is a granola-eating, tree-hugging Portland-like squirral. Sign that child up for therapy…
July 20th, 2010 at 11:33 am
July 22nd, 2010 at 6:25 pm
Amen! We never ate eggplant at home. Not sure where Keith developed that taste. Had to be GU. Haha
July 24th, 2010 at 6:09 am
You are a natural for a job as an entertainment page columnist or perhaps a magazine